Posted by: Laurel | July 22, 2009

Lou’s News 2


Finally.
It’s my turn.
Thank God.
I am Lou and I have a whole lot to say.
A lot, that is, if Laurel would just shut up.
So, ok, I’ll talk now, only let me get my dog and my little kitten and then I’ll sit down.
I need to go find them first and we’ll be ready to go.
See ya,
Lou

Ok, I’m ready now.
Lou here.
I left Laurel the Bossy Boss in bed. Taking a nap. As usual.
God, she gets on my nerves. Sheesh. Well, anyway, you wanted to know something about me? Oh all right, then, but realize that you will never really know me, never really.
I am Lou that much is true. Haha.
Really, I’m only kidding. My whole name is Louisa Marie Shandling.
Laurel came up with my name on a good day.
She has a coupla good ones here and there. Depends on her supply of pills. Always does. I have her pegged and she knows it. So she won’t delete me or fuck with me in any way. Well she might, so I guess I’ll think before putting just anything down. I never know exactly what she’ll do or think.
Well, I am going to get my creatures now. If you want to follow, then do, but I plan to run.
Off she goes, Lou does. Running as fast as she can with hair streaming out behind her body, lovely and young and strong. She doesn’t look 13, she looks about 25 years old, except her face reveals her youth.
But as she runs, now, I am fooled into thinking that she is a woman, a beautiful woman.
She stops abruptly. Mid-stride, she halts, hands planted on her knees as she catches her breath. Panting, she is panting hard. She has closed her eyes for a short moment. Opened, her eyes search out mine. They lock and Lou smiles.
I return the smile and we speak to one another.
“So, how was that bit of the old ring around the rosie? I must admit you left me alone quite a while ago!” I noted to Louisa Marie Shandling. Her reply?
“Fabulous, just crazy, I have to say. Crazy perfect!”
Off she ran again. Left alone once more.
Watch her go, watch her leave me again. She will leave me one more time.
That will be the story of our love. That’s it.
She always called the shots.
Even when I was the director. She had to be the boss. Every time.
I see her returning from God knows where, holding something in her hands. Both hands I think, so squinting, I find her holding a leash in one hand and a small cat in the other.
She stops in front of me and we acknowledge one another.
We nod.
Louisa Marie snuggles the wee kitten, cooing as she pets the thing.
“That’s my little boy, there he is, little baby boy!”

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Responses

  1. This is good but there is one confusing point. When writing you should always write in the same persons voice or make it more clear when you are switching speakers. This piece is a little confusing because both characters speek in first person. I had to stop several times and backtrack to understand who was saying what about whom. I know it’s hard on the blog but some ways you can make it clear is by using different fonts, blog separate entries or put in some sort of physical break:
    <
    Keep up the hard work!

    • Thanks and sorry for making you have to backtrack…I will try to clarify speakers from now on.
      I do appreciate you taking time to respond.
      See you later then,
      Laurel


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